Monthly Archive: September 2009

ENGLISH OF TOMORROW – EU ANNOUNCEMENT

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English” .

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Mindless Thoughts

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your stupidity.

Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
so why practice?

If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then, what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Save water.
Shower with your girlfriend.

Love thy neighbor.
But don’t get caught.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children

“Your future depends on your dreams”
So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day
than waking up every morning

“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk !

“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours !

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

When two’s company,
three’s the result !

A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

Focus on Problems vs. Focus on Solutions

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan’s biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty.

Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.

Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral of the story: KISS (Keep It Simple,Stupid)
i.e. always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem. So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems.

“If you look at what you do not have in life, you don’t have anything”
“If you look at what you have in life, you have everything”

PS: Simple Guy = Simple Idea

Singapore City

SINGAPORE IS A PLACE
WHERE…

…research has shown that its people
have the worst eyesight in the world.


(Myopic symptoms evident at MRT waiting
lines)

SINGAPORE IS A PLACE
WHERE…

…queueing is a national pastime



SINGAPORE IS A PLACE WHERE…
……schooling is a harrowing experience


(For the parents)

SINGAPORE IS A PLACE WHERE…
…93% of the population are literate.
The remaining 7% can be found in cinemas:


And on public transport:


SINGAPORE IS A PLACE WHERE…
…social unrest is unheard of


(Except where Hello Kitty toys, $1 BreadTalk breads
and free M1 GSM handphones are involved)

UnIqUe

YOU ARE SPECIAL!
Just
what is a Singaporean?

How can a Singaporean be defined?
We proudly present the traits.

WE HAVE TO BE
NUMBER 1

It’s
almost a prerequisite for us to be tops in everything.



WE ARE
BIG-HEARTED


We don’t think twice when donating fat cheques
to disaster victims abroad.
But it’s a different story with Flag Days at home.


WE FEEL FOR
OTHER SINGAPOREANS

We may not know each other;
but when disaster strikes our fellow men,
we share their anguish.



WE HAVE GREAT
FORESIGHT

The
authority says, “Plan early for retirement.”
We always plan ahead…


WE LOVE FOOD
Brought about by the vast variety of grub
in our multi-cultural melting pot.



WE ARE
LAW-ABIDING

Well, most of us are, anyway.
Those wayward few face a certain punishment
which is also unique to us…


The Pebble Story

Many years ago, when a person who owed money could be thrown into jail, a merchant in London had the misfortune to owe a huge sum to a money-lender. The money-lender, who was old, ugly and wicked, fancied the merchant’s beautiful teenage daughter. He proposed a bargain.

He said he would cancel the merchant’s debt if he could have the girl instead. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified at the proposal.

So the cunning money-lender proposed that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money-bag and then the girl would have to pick out one of the pebbles. If she chose the black pebble, she would become his wife and Her father’s debt would be cancelled. If she chose the white pebble she would stay with her father and the debt would still be cancelled. But if she refused to pick out a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail and she would starve.

Reluctantly, the merchant agreed. They were standing on a pebble-strewn path in the merchant’s garden as they talked and the money-lender stooped down to pick up the two pebbles. As he picked up the pebbles, the girl, sharp-eyed with fright, noticed that he picked up two black pebbles and put them into the money-bag. He then asked the girl to pick out the pebble that was to decide her fate and that of her father.

Imagine that you are standing on the path in the merchant’s garden.

What would you have done if you had been the unfortunate girl?

Refuse to take a pebble?

Point out that there are two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat? Take a black pebble and sacrifice yourself in order to save your father from prison?

None of the suggestions in this situation is very helpful, for if the Girl does not take a pebble her father goes to prison, and if she does take a pebble, then she has to marry the money-lender.

NOW, THINK LATERALLY! What do you think the girl did??

The girl in the pebble story put her hand into the money-bag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall to the path, where it was immediately lost among all the others. “Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said, “but never mind – if you look into the bag you will be able to tell which pebble I took by the Colour of the one that is left.”

Since the remaining pebble is of course black, it must be assumed that she had taken the white pebble, since the money-lender dare not admit his dishonesty. In this way, using lateral thinking, the girl changes what seems an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one!

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution it is only that we don’t attempt to think. SO START THINKING…

Peace Concert In Havana

HAVANA – MMORE than half a million Cubans gathered in Havana on Sunday for a concert featuring Miami-based singer Juanes, a gig welcomed by US President Barack Obama, but criticised by Cuban exiles.

SECOND EVENT
THE show is the second event under the ‘Paz sin Fronteras’ banner, after a 2008 Juanes show promoting peace on the border between Colombia and Venezuela.

The concert, headlined by Juanes – most famous for his hit songs A Dios le Pido and La Camisa Negra – will also feature some of Latin America’s brightest music stars, including Olga Tanon, Danny Rivera and the Orishas.

… more
Hundreds of thousands of parasol-waving fans braced blistering heat in the capital’s storied Revolution Square, with merriment belying the political undertones that the concert has produced.

Miami’s Cuban exile community has criticised the performance, saying it will legitimise the island’s communist regime, and Colombian-born singer Juanes received death threats ahead of the ‘Peace without Borders’ concert.

Many of those present appeared focused on the need for Cubans everywhere to unite.

‘We have to unite Cubans that are inside and those outside. Everyone has family there. It does not matter why they left. We have to leave hate behind,’ said Yordanis Padron, a 34-year-old electrician.

Clutching a umbrella, bottle of water and a snack, 73-year-old Lidia said she hoped the concert would ‘serve as a message to the imperialists that we want peace and help to reconcile those here with those from over there.’

Earlier, Mr Obama welcomed plans for the massive but controversial concert, telling US Spanish-language network Univision the performance could help improve ties with Cuba.

Mr Obama’s Secretary of State Hillary Clinton met the Colombian singer before he left for the island, a trip which has prompted some of Miami’s million-strong Cuban exile community to smash his records in protest.

‘My understanding is that he’s a terrific musician. He puts on a very good concert,’ Mr Obama told the station as part of a five-channel media blitz on Sunday to sell his plan to reform US healthcare.

‘I certainly don’t think it hurts US-Cuban relations, these kinds of cultural exchanges.’ Juanes has promised a ‘historic’ show on Havana’s vast Revolution Square, the scene of countless declarations by Cuba’s communist leaders and home to an iconic mural of Argentine revolutionary Che Guevara.

‘We are excited to connect with the audience in Cuba – saying that we are here, that they are not alone, and that we hope over time things can change and the Cuban family can be one,’ the 37-year-old Grammy winner said Saturday.

‘What better language than music… for that wake-up call,’ said Juanes, who now lives in Miami. — AFP

Straits Times

Muse’s New Album Irresistable

LONDON – BRITISH rock band Muse shot straight to the top of the UK album charts with their new release The Resistance outselling the next three top albums combined, the Official Charts Company said on Sunday.

British World War Two armed forces’ sweetheart Vera Lynn, who last week became the oldest living artist to have a number one album, dropped a place to number two with We’ll Meet Again, a collection of her best known songs.

That meant singer Peter Andre, whose marriage break-up with glamour model Katie Price, has dominated tabloid newspapers in recent weeks, had to settle for third place with his new release Revelation.

US rapper Jay-Z was another new entry in fourth with The Blueprint 3, while singer-songwriter David Gray’s ‘Draw The Line’ went into the charts in fifth place.

In the singles chart, Taio Cruz, whose writing and production talents have been used by the likes of Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and the Pussycat Dolls, debuted in top spot with Break Your Heart.

David Guetta featuring Akon stayed in second place with Sexy Chick, while Madonna was a new entry in third with Celebration.

Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West remained in fourth with Run This Town, with She Wolf by Shakira climbing 20 places to fifth. — REUTERS

Straits Times

Stella McCartney Sportswear

LONDON – STELLA McCartney’s sportswear franchise is saddling up to take on the cycling world.

The British designer may be better known for her tops and dresses, but her active-wear ‘adidas by Stella McCartney’ concept has been going strong since 2005.

In addition to her pre-existing ranges devoted to yoga, tennis, golf and swim, McCartney is now working to keep cyclists, runners and triathletes looking sharp on the track and in the pool.

The sports apparel on display on Sunday at London’s Somerset House was made from lightweight, breathable fabrics designed with comfort – and perspiration – in mind.

Mesh was nearly everywhere: In wide loops lining the side of a gym shoe or tightly wound into a poly-cotton collared golf shirt.

‘It’s moisture management,’ explained Emma Willey, who works for adidas by Stella McCartney. ‘When you come out after eight hours on the golf course, you want to be smelling fresh.’

McCartney kept to an understated style, with a pair of small red running shorts and a shiny, tinfoil-like pool blue jacket being among the flashiest pieces in an otherwise neutral-coloured collection. Zebra print was pervasive.

McCartney says she tries to keep her materials environmentally friendly and ethically sourced. Apparel on display included clothes constructed out of organic cotton and recycled polyester, and shoes built with recycled rubber and wood pulp insoles.

Sunday, the third day of London Fashion Week, also features shows by Betty Jackson, Nicole Farhi, Jasper Conran, and British fashion icon Vivienne Westwood. — AP

Straits Times

Jon Stewart’s New Emmy

LOS ANGELES – JON Stewart and his writing staff are owners of new Emmy Awards.

Comedy Central’s The Daily Show was named the best comedy or variety show in the annual Emmy Awards. Blessed with an abundance of material during a presidential election, the show beat out David Letterman’s Late Show, Saturday Night Live, Real Time With Bill Maher and The Colbert Report.

Stewart’s writing staff also won for best writing in a comedy or variety series, making it a clean sweep.

As he accepted the award, Stewart joked that it gave him and his staff time to go backstage and check out the pro football game, being shown on another network. — AP

Straits Times

I’M Really Just A SHY GIRL

I’m really just a SHY GIRL
Model-actress Christy Yow claims she’s ill at ease playing sexy
By Kwok Kar Peng
September 21, 2009
 
 

MODEL Christy Yow is a hard one to figure out.

POUTING: Christy during a bikini shoot.
–PICTURE:
FHM SINGAPORE

She preened and pouted her full lips for The New Paper’s camera crew and threw us come-hither looks.

She said she was willing to strip naked for a lead role in Eric Khoo’s upcoming movie Chinese Rose.

Yet, in the same interview, the 23-year-old recalled how uncomfortable she was modelling for FHM Singapore.

Christy, known for her ample 34C bosom, shot to fame when she posed in a skimpy bikini for the December issue of the local lad mag.

She also claimed she had difficulty acting sexy in her first acting attempt in straight-to-DVD movie Aunties United, where she plays a shy and conservative girl.

‘I trust nude scenes in Chinese Rose will be tasteful’

Will the real Christy Yow, please stand up?

She insists she’s a shy girl at heart, but transforms into a sex goddess only in front of the camera.

Away from work, she wears spectacles and goes without make-up. She is always in T-shirt, jeans or shorts, and flip-flops, she said.

She added: ‘I want to gain a foothold in the showbiz industry, so I have to behave professionally. I cannot portray a role badly just because I’m shy.’

A scene that she found particularly tough in Aunties United was one that required her to walk slowly towards the camera, looking sexy.

She said: ‘I had to pose, sway a little and look sexy. I didn’t think it would be difficult and everyone thought I would be able to complete it in just one take.

‘But it felt weird when I did it. I wasn’t natural. I thought it could be because it was my first time acting.’

The scene was filmed in a sports hall and it was only after the director asked the crew to leave the hall that Christy managed to wrap up the scene. It took her close to 10 takes to get it right.

Christy also had problems during her FHM photo shoot. The Ipoh-born girl had told her manager that she wanted very much to be on the cover of FHM Malaysia.

So her manager approached the editor of the men’s magazine in Singapore, who agreed to feature her after seeing her photos.

Silk dress

She went for a fitting session and tried on a long silk dinner dress.

But Christy had a rude shock when she learnt she had to wear bikinis for the photo shoot in Bali.

‘I couldn’t turn down the photo shoot because we had already travelled all the way to Bali. I eventually didn’t model the silk dress,’ she recalled.

It was her first time modelling in bikinis. The male photographer, sensing her discomfort, asked everyone except the female make-up artist to leave the shoot.

It was only after a few breaks, when she chatted with her manager, that she relaxed and finished the session.

When the photos were published, a local Chinese daily nicknamed her the Busty 36C Lady from Malaysia.

She has since lost weight and is now a size 34C.

‘I was shocked at the nickname. It sounded like something from a Hong Kong gossip magazine. But over time, I slowly accepted it.’

Full frontal

Christy said she is keen to play 1950s cabaret star Rose Chan in Eric Khoo’s upcoming movie Chinese Rose, even if it means having to do scenes with full-frontal nudity.

She said she was moved by Rose’s tragic life.

‘Rose is a very strong and proud person. It’ll be a very challenging role and a very good opportunity for me if I get it. I have to think professionally and not be so bothered about the nude scenes.’

She admitted she initially had reservations about the role. ‘But after reading the script, I realised that the nude scenes are an essential and small part of the entire story. Rose is more than just a striptease performer. She had a very tumultuous life and the movie will be about her spirit.’

Christy said she trusts the nude scenes would be tasteful.

Eric has been having problems finding the right actress to play Rose.

He first announced he was looking for an actress for the role at a press conference in April last year. One year later, Eric told The New Paper that he had yet to find his Rose despite 200 applicants and 20 auditions.

Then again, the actress has to meet his stringent criteria. In Eric’s own words, she should ideally have ‘the sultry lips of Shu Qi, the voluptuous figure of Fiona Xie, the height of Beatrice Chia, and the poise and complexion of Gong Li’.

She must have the acting skills of Maggie Cheung, tell jokes like Irene Ang, be comfortable with snakes and be able to speak Mandarin and Cantonese.

On top of that, she must be willing to strip for full-frontal nude scenes.

When contacted, Eric confirmed that Christy is one of a few actresses on his short list. The other contenders are also fresh faces.

Eric said he sees a lot of potential in Christy and likes her determination and maturity.

He pointed out that the role is challenging as the actress would have to play Rose from the age of 17 to 36.

Actors for the other roles have yet to be confirmed, but Eric wants to use mostly fresh faces.

The movie is in pre-production and filming will likely begin in the first quarter of next year. The screenplay is by James Toh, who also wrote Eric’s 12 Storeys.

During her audition, Christy had to display a range of emotions, from sad to happy to angry, as demanded by the script. But she did not have to pose nude.

On her personal life, she would only reveal that she is dating a Taiwanese, a ’30-year-old upcoming actor’.

They met early last month when she was in Taipei to attend a 10-day acting class. They played a couple in a skit but it was only after she returned to Singapore that love blossomed.

Christy said: ‘He would give me a call at 6.30am every day when I filmed Aunties United.

‘If you see me with heavy eyebags and bad complexion, it just means that we had chatted till late the night before.’

 

The NewPaper